wow----has it been a long time since I have written or what? A great deal has happened following my last post, mainly the death of Papa, my greatest inspiration and the kindest soul on this earth.

October 16th was the day he passed--It was a long 3 weeks--I came back down to riverside to find my photo teacher had lost his brother a day earlier--we were both experiencing days, possibly weeks of loss and grief--

My step-grama Kathleen has made life a living hell for us. With their marriage of 4 years she thought she could go against his wishes and make him live on feeding tube. She just wanted him alive so she could spend more of the money he didn't have--the day he died she tried cashing in on his social security--she yelled at the drs and admitted to giving him some of her medicine (which could have potentially been the reason why he was admitted, but we will never know)--

My grandpa was always young at heart--until he married Kathleen--he aged faster in these past 3 years then i have ever seen--I remember seeing him over the summer and then seeing him at thanksgiving and noticing such a change in his appearance--a quick, physical deterioration, and slowly a mental one.

He was such a happy man--and despite his open heart surgeries, hip surgery--the pain he would experience he would always say "i feel great"---when we knew otherwise--I miss him very much. He didn't keep in good touch with us after Kathleen came along--almost cut us off completely at some points--we would see him on holidays but no other times--he wouldnt call--and would only spend 30 sec talking to us if we did--he became distant the last few years of his life--so very opposite of what our family life was like prior to his marriage to you know who--but all we had were memories--wonderful memories of the good times in the past--i still miss him making basketball shots from a half court away--or slipping me 20's whenever he would see us--or him teaching us how to dance...or just simply his laugh--

well this is an emotional blog--maybe i better leave it at this tnite--but I hope to come and vent about my days and new experiences--and be motivated to write.

yo soy numero uno pops!--always

oh--you must check out these videos before I forget...they are hilarious--Phil and I were going back and forth on funny videos the other nite


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDqN78Vs8o4 --haha i love it

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ToVTbGQyj2Y ---ahhh a classic

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Wk5H0JUAqQ --steve harvey hugs the guy at the end

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8919541964498299964


alright that is all =)

ATTACK OF THE FLIES!!!!!!!!

Never thought I would say that--but seriously--I woke up this morning and we had about 30 flies by our sliding glass door, either on it or on the carpet right next to it. These weren't just normal flies---they were retardaflies---they didn't fly--they just sat on the window or the ground walking about--pretty much letting Phil and I kill them. He came home for lunch and vaccuumed up all the ones we saw.

Approximately an hour after he left there were like 15 back in the same place! I sat around looking where the freaking gross monsters were coming from but couldn't find it. It seemed everytime I looked away a new one was flailing about. When I think of flies--I think of them on toilet seats, cow's butts--or heaven for bid--sitting on top of a pile of dog poo!!! So when I see them roaming around our place--oh hellll no--I think fecal bacteria everywhere. I guess that's why Allison's mice story was funny.

I just finished my dinner and set my cup of milk down to do dishes...I walk back to my cup on the counter and a kamikaze fly drowned itself in my milk--I washed dishes for 2 min! what the hell!!!!

I'll be damned if I let you take over my apartment retardaflies! Damned!!! Especially cause it's so clean and wonderful without your gross dog poo eating selves around here!

til tmw--til tmw

oh me oh my--

Today started off with church. Just as lovely as I remember it, even for Riverside--the church I go to has an awesome choir--if anything much of my inspiration during mass comes from the hymns--there is something about the way the choir projects through the church. (no it's not the mic's) It's the acoustics. It's the feeling of heavenly music ringing from above you. Music has the ability to move me in some form or fashion--boogey down--kidding not in that way.

Speaking of music--survey question of the day? Do any of you associate many of your memories with music? I do in a major way. I can remember the song played at my great grandma's funeral. I can remember the song from my 8th grade graduation. I can remember sitting on my mom's lap when I was 6 driving to Disneyland and having her teach me a song on the radio. I remember the songs I sang with my friends on my 16th birthday--and I remember the song playing when I was backing out my driveway--leaving for college. Music runs my life. I've been listening to quite a bit of christian music lately--it's not bad--and they have so many genres--they have christian rock (some lite and others slightly harder) and they have christian rap--i should let tim listen to some of that--holllllller haha

On another topic--Art History really helped me appreciate architecture. There is an immense amount of symbolism which lies within the church walls. I won't list a bunch but I will list one--the walls around many altars in catholic churches stream upward into a dome shape---usually with the crucifix in the center of the wall facing the nave of the church---the dome represents the heavens--and the central circle amidst the top of the dome is the oculus or the eye--this is Roman architecture and can be seen in other famous structures such as the Pantheon in Rome. ahhh I'm getting all artsy fartsy noooooooo.

Phil and I had an interesting night....we were both insanely bored watching Kids in the Hall and I was craving chocolate (of which we have none in the apartment). So--we hopped in the car made it to Ralph's and grabbed everything chocolate we could think of. Very smart-- so this lack of chocolate will never happen again. Then we came back and made brownies...freakin deeeeelicious.

Our running to the grocery store for chocolate reminded me of last year with Austin. After a long day of school sometime last year--I was craving a donut--so Austin and I went on a donut adventure at like 10 or 11 at nite. If i don't recall we ended up at Ralph's first--didn't find any donut's but he grabbed 2 cartons of juice and started downing them in the store before we even paid...I remember the look on some people's faces...it was awesome. We eventually found a 24-hour donut shop. Ten minutes later Austin and I were sitting in the apartment chuckling--as I sat eating a ridiculously fatty jelly donut and he downed half a carton of orange juice. Strange memories haha--

alright these entries are getttin loooonnnnng---plus i'm gettin tired---buenas noches

Before the chaos. . .

I am enjoying my first weekend back in Riverside, before school officially starts and all. I am only taking 12 units this quarter hoping that the lighter load will diminish the stress factor that usually shadows me each school session. The ability to worry about anything and everything was handed down oh so nicely by my mother. Thanks mom!

My digital photo class the other evening went well. My professor is fairly young, yet experienced in the digital photo world and its history. Her class is going to be a decent load of work. We have a blog on blogger for the class actually. I thought it was quite random that I created my first blog the day I start school, and come to find our entire class is going to create one. We also get to have our own photo blog on flickr, of which we update 3 photos per week, elaborate on one of ours and critique others. I think the idea is quite brilliant actually. I wondered why that hadn't been suggested in other photo classes--but after a brief moment I realized a majority of the other classes were more film related, so maintaining an online photo blog may have been a lil more burdensome. Most to nearly all photo students have digital cameras anyway.

My professors work is gorgeous, light, airy, and reflective. When I got home I checked out her site--and the way the light so gracefully captures her subjects is astounding--the natural light brings out the antique, retro feel of the past on which she seems to be driven to share. I think we can all remember going to our grandparents or great grandparents as small children and being fascinated by our surroundings--from old photos to tiffany lamps and of course the smells!--i'm diggin her work =) --and partly because I feel my past project may have revealed a little of the same. The subject in the photo speaks for itself, it's age, it's life. It is simplistic and carries beauty with age. Mostly, it is reminescent of a life and lifestyle which once lived; one existing separately from the hustle and bustle of today's world.

check it out http://www.kristenwilkins.com/index.html (click on the house--then click on thumbnails in the top left corner)

well enough of the photo stuff... I got a lil carried away =)

Phil's brother is up for the weekend. Last night the three of us, as well as Brett, drank quite a bit, enjoyed some steaks, potatoes, salad, and Scary Movie 4. Steak and potatoes--such a manly meal--grrrr! And leave it to Phil to sit there and tell us all to finish our 12 oz rib-eyes from Costco. He was the only one that did--the rest of us neared half. And leave it to me to have about 4 girly liquor drinks and pass out first in the middle of Scary Movie 4.

I have yet to solidify my job situation. That will hopefully happen tmw. I am not looking forward to going back to Applebee's but it may be my only way to get the holidays off this year and maintain a job. No manager is going to want to give me the month of december off for grad, and a family trip...hopefully the managers who know me will. *crosses fingers* And the tips will definitely help with the bills situation.

Just got back from the movies with Phil and Mike. We saw Fearless (jet li's last epic film)---now I'm not a big fan of martial arts movies--but the cinematography in this one is beautiful--there seemed to be so much passion--i wish i knew i how to fight--and use nunchucks =)

well--i better get some stuff done--have yet to organize the closet completely--my bathroom is still being fixed--crazy ceiling--so i am still sharing with phil---gotta get this place in perfect order...

enjoy the rest of the weekend guys!

and heeeeeeere we go---

I thought I would try out a blog--I have had a "livejournal" in the past, well, technically I still have it, but will probably just keep my private entries there--the entries range from last year to my senior year in highschool. It's pretty funny to go back and read various past memories and my crazy thoughts over the years. I'm hoping this blog will be just another way to document the things happening with me--and possibly Phil! haha

I arrived in Riverside last night--after a grueling 7 hour drive--only cause I got to L.A. around commute time--bloody hell! Phil helped me unload the car-- how can one person have so much stuff seriously?--Anywho, after unloading we went and grabbed some food. I like our place--it is rather spacious, and quiet, minus our music and horrible singing--we both have a hard time keeping a tune =) Just picture us singing with a couple of beers in us--haha

It was pretty hard to leave home this time. Summer went by so fast--and come end of the summer I had to say bye to too many people in one week--too many people I love anyway. That's life for ya.

School starts tnite--I see an update in the future--until then--

bladdy bladdy blooo